Let’s welcome beach wedding season with the BEST piece of marriage advice, as seen in this one-of-a-kind wedding
File this under “BAD marriage advice”: learn how to compromise.
When people talk about compromise, they’re actually talking about avoiding conflict. But married life is overflowing with conflict! To compromise implies leaving conflicts unresolved, giving up on finding the best way forward, just so we can move forward.
I would go so far as to say that married people should learn how to be uncompromising instead.
And if you want to learn more about how to be uncompromising, try shopping for swimwear online. File THAT under “segues you never saw coming.”
…6 modest swimwear brands that don’t compromise style…
…exudes sexiness, without compromising comfort…
…doesn’t compromise fit and coverage…
No, really. Google swimwear and compromise and you’ll see that swimwear designers are, as a rule, uncompromising AF. That should come as no surprise, since they work with such minuscule amounts of material. Every detail, every millimeter, every ounce counts. Conflicting priorities abound. Sexy versus safe, playful versus comfortable, fashion versus self-expression. A great designer doesn’t choose between the extremes, but brings out the best of all of them.
For Chaley, founder and designer of immensely popular local brand Cesa Swimwear, her wedding was a masterclass on how to be uncompromising. She and her now-husband Evan knew exactly what they wanted: a wedding by the beach, surrounded by a small group of friends and family, dancing and partying all night. They had a clear vision, and there was no way they were going to water it down.
Except their wedding was on a Sunday night, so a crazy afterparty seemed doubtful. Oh, and there was no way they could just have an intimate wedding because all their kin and even friends of their parents would be coming (this one, you can file under “stereotypes about Filipino-Chinese weddings that are often on point”). Also, there was absolutely no way they could get married at a beach with such a huge guestlist.
Vision versus tradition, fantasy versus reality. For Evan and Chaley, the choice was clear. Working with uncompromisingly visionary wedding planner La Belle Fete, they developed a “beach in the city” concept that transformed a posh hotel ballroom to a seaside getaway. Event stylist Dave Sandoval applied his signature style to tropical plants and cyan hues, giving the decor a lush and laid-back feel. LX Events Pro kept the house lights dim, with a pool of light at the center to keep everyone’s attention on the couple (Evan and Chaley knew all about the importance of lighting for effect: on one of their prenup shoots, they used a combination of large format film and vintage stage lights to achieve an authentic 1950s Hollywood look). The lighting, combined with a surround-sound setup, made the event feel a lot more intimate. Strategic use of fireworks and visuals of lapping waves made it feel just like a real beach wedding, and we kept the vibe up all night.
As for the crazy afterparty, let’s just say it started with a lot of messy kissing and ended well past midnight. I’d tell you more about it but I suppose “what happens at the beach, stays at the beach”.
What we ended up with was no half-measure, no compromise. It was no less than the wedding of their dreams.
Chaley told us about how, when Cesa were just starting out, Evan would visit her at bazaars. Little gestures. Checking up on her, bringing her food, helping with customers. Only he didn’t get to help with customers much because in those days, there were hardly any. Sometimes they would pack up for the day without having sold anything at all. Against the odds, she stuck with it, and they to each other. She, uncompromisingly driven. He, uncompromisingly devoted. Cesa’s following grew, and so did their love for each other.